I started this blog with the idea that I would make something that I was a little more proud of... something I wouldn't mind actually giving people the address to as opposed to my xanga which I haven't regularly posted in in a while. I'm not sure I could give people the link to this blog. I don't think I want people to know just how crazy I am/how badly my body and food issues affect me. On the other hand, I don't really know why I care. I'm down to my usual handful of friends and I've known them since preschool, elementary school, middle school and high school.

I'm so paranoid about finding roach legs in my food. If I see a small thin black thing, I have to ask Ryan if he thinks it's a bug leg. He always says no and eats it to prove how he's not just saying that. I can't say I'm always happy with life in general, or even him, but when I think about particular things like that, it makes me appreciate what I have more.

Speaking of roaches, the night before last, a giant roach crawled out of a crack in the wall above our picture rail. I noticed it on the picture rail and Ryan climbed on the couch and tried to get it with a paper towel. It crawled back into the hole and then came back out after Ryan went to bed (and turned off the overhead light and turned on the lamps). I yelled for him and finally he made it back into the living room. Just in time to get on the couch while the HUGE roach (or water bug... Joe's apartment-type only twice the size) fell off the picture rail and onto the floor. It was a huge production with the cats and Ryan trying to get at the thing, but it went behind the radiator. It tried to come out again, but it went back after Kiley caught it in her paws (she picked it up and dropped it). So, I don't know if the think is still here or if it was able to get out through the radiator. I have no idea. I hope I don't see it again.

My dad and I made a bet- first to lose 25 lbs gets $1000. No worries, I'll win.