So, last night I was in bed by 2:30, but just couldn't fall asleep! I laid in bed awake for hours and intermittently played bejeweled on my iphone. I hate that feeling, where you're tired enough to go to sleep, but it's just not happening. I finally fell asleep around 5am! I should have just gotten up when I woke up at 1pm, but my bed is way too comfortable and my back wasn't hurting the way it normally does when I've in bed for that long, so I went back to bed and got up at 4pm.

It's 5:30 PM and I haven't eatening anything. And the effect of not eating anything is visible right there where I just typed "eatening." My stomach is growling, but I don't feel super hungry. Part of me thinks, "EAT SOMETHING!" and the other part wants to wait until Ryan gets home because yesterday we ended up consuming so many calories. I don't want this to turn into an anorexic blog! Those depress me so much. I definitely lost weight by not eating enough when I was younger and I don't want to fall into that same pattern now, it's just hard because I have SO MUCH to lose. I keep thinking, well, I'll do that master cleanse until I've lost some weight and then I'll start working out a lot so I'll keep the weight off and lose more. It's hard to keep all of these things in balance because I know that starving yourself to lose weight may work in the short term, but overall unless you really, truly learn to change your ways it's going to come piling back and then some. It may take a couple years for you to get there, but all it takes is one bad year to gain a ton of weight. Seeing as how this has been a lifelong struggle for me, I know it's really necessary for me to start incorperating exercise into my daily life. And unfortunately, sleeping all day and sitting on the couch all night doesn't count as exercise.

Okay, so we went out and I guess I exercised self control in that I didn't order the pene a la vodka that looked amazing (a guy had it). We did get potato skins to start (there were 3 full size, so I had 1.5), I had 2 cups of coffee and a grilled chicken caesar salad which was too tasty to be healthy, but there wasn't too much romaine, and therefore not too much dressing. After dinner, we stopped at Carvel. I got a medium coke float, but the coke was flat and warm and I was after a little bit so I ended up dumping most of it in the garbage. I definitely ended up eating less than a small. Waste of money, but I felt kind of proud of myself that I didn't end up eating it just for the heck of it.

So, today I consumed:

• small cup of sour cherry juice (6 oz or less)-- I had some last night, too, I can't remember if I mentioned that
  
• 1.5 potato skins (with cheddar, bacon and scallions)
  
• grilled chicken caesar salad (most of which came home with me)
• 2 cups of coffee with milk and 2 sugars in each.
• a small amount of coke float with vanilla soft serve

I should be 1) drinking more water 2) eating more fruits and veggies!!!

I know I shouldn't, but i'm going to start weighing myself more. I read somewhere that people who weigh themselves more stay more motivated. I'm not going to be discouraged if I don't lose over the course of the week, but it definitely helps keep me on track. I know I don't sound totally on board with weight loss, yet, but just thinking about it and recording what I'm eating is a big step.